I’m having an adventure. Me! This is a dream I never dared to dream. And it’s fun. Really fun!
I was beset with thoughts of conserving my meager savings “in case something went wrong.” This wasn't any fun at all...being cautious, worried, conservative.
I recalled how wide open my eyes were to discovery when I was younger; how I was captivated by the glistening threads of an intricate spider web on a bush; how a silent family of deer and I stared at each other until one of us had a thought, whereupon the deer leapt away; how I pretended to be an Indian softly treading the parchment autumn leaves on a hiking trail, tracking I know not what. It didn’t matter.
Indeed, growing old is a state of mind, no more. I knew I had to create an adventure. So I did.
Throwing all dust like motes of caution into yesterday, I gave my car to a friend for a dollar, gave away most of my belongings, and went to the Australian bush country. With the help of a friend I found my way into the central goldfields shire, in search of the elusive gold nugget.
For only a brief flickering moment I wonder why I do this. What drives me onward? Why do I dance in the freezing cold rain of an Australian winter? Is it the golden gossamer illusion I imagine driving me onward? Is it the thought of great riches awaiting me, material wealth burdening me to its care with clutter, complexity and chains? Why do I love this so? I hear the kookaburra bird high in a gum tree, laughing with me.
It is the excitement, the joy of the act, the moment. I am smiling as I swing the pickaxe, digging a hole in the reddish soil sprinkled with quartz. I am freezing from the cold arctic wind wending its way northward from the south pole, yet I feel an excitement bubbling thru my very beingness as I squat on the ground and sift the reddish soil with my bare hands. I wave the soil over a metal detector and then toss it aside.
I feel very alive. I am living in this moment. Soon I will return to the states with or without gold. The treasure I take with me is already mine. It is the knowledge of the joy of creating the moment. Where will I go when I arrive stateside? I do not yet know. It does not matter. I will know when I get there. What does matter is that I know I can create it myself and all will be right. It is all in your state of mind.
I go now to walk between the raindrops.
-the beginning-
Copyright September 1, 2008